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There’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ‘em just cheat on you.
Silent Bob (via goodbyes)
bryan and pj up in a tree, m-a-x-x-i-n-g! first comes pics, then DAMN, BRYAN GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.
Thomas Carlyle (via affremblequotes)
That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building’s window. Let’s fucking do it and never look back.
Wise words from Chip Kidd (via sukisuki)

Wise words from Chip Kidd (via sukisuki)

In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.
Scott Adams

catachresis

wordjournal:

noun • /kætəˈkɹiːsɪs/ • the misuse of words; applying a term to something which it should not properly describe

From Ancient Greek κατάχρησις, from καταχρῆσθαι ‘to misuse’.

An Israeli is going through customs at JFK. The customs officer asks, “Occupation?” and the Israeli says, “No, I’m just visiting.
Do not let people mislabel the US Air landing a “miracle”. It was the result of education, experience, skill and competence. Not magic.
Maryann Bruce, 48, of Cornelius, North Carolina, said that while others were “thinking of dying, I was actually thinking about living. I wanted to see my kids and my husband.” She said she had survived disasters before, including the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Centre, where she worked then. “I must have nine lives,” she said. “I was vacationing in Honolulu and had to be evacuated for a tsunami. I was skiing in Denver and had an avalanche. I was at the big LA earthquake.
Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left — just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow, saying, ‘You greedy motherfucker, I’ve got nothing for you.’
John Mayer, 09-21-2006 (via apsies) (via allthiscanbeyours) (via ktroseknows) (via 8tania) (via babydeer) (via sharpless) (via magnetical)
The Antikythera mechanism is an ancient mechanical calculator (also described as the first known “mechanical computer”) designed to calculate astronomical positions. It was discovered in the Antikythera wreck off the Greek island of Antikythera, between Kythera and Crete, in 1901. Subsequent investigation, particularly in 2006, dated it to about 150–100 BC; and hypothesized that it was on board a ship that sank en route from the Greek island of Rhodes to Rome. Technological artifacts of similar complexity did not reappear until a thousand years later.

The word 'genocide' didn't even exist until we were forced to name what the Nazis had done

I only wish I had a gun rather than a camera.
When people look at my pictures I want them to feel the way they do when they want to read a line of a poem twice.
Robert Frank