There’s a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ‘em just cheat on you.
Silent Bob (via goodbyes)
Posts tagged quote
Posted 3 years ago
bryan and pj up in a tree, m-a-x-x-i-n-g! first comes pics, then DAMN, BRYAN GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
Posted 3 years ago
The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they miss.
Thomas Carlyle (via affremblequotes)
Posted 3 years ago
That shirt looks good on you, but it would look even better stuffed into the neck of a vodka bottle and flung burning through our office building’s window. Let’s fucking do it and never look back.
Posted 3 years ago
In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn’t have to ride around with jerks.
Scott Adams
Posted 3 years ago
catachresis
noun • /kætəˈkɹiːsɪs/ • the misuse of words; applying a term to something which it should not properly describeFrom Ancient Greek κατάχρησις, from καταχρῆσθαι ‘to misuse’.
Posted 3 years ago
An Israeli is going through customs at JFK. The customs officer asks, “Occupation?” and the Israeli says, “No, I’m just visiting.
Posted 3 years ago
Do not let people mislabel the US Air landing a “miracle”. It was the result of education, experience, skill and competence. Not magic.
Posted 3 years ago
Maryann Bruce, 48, of Cornelius, North Carolina, said that while others were “thinking of dying, I was actually thinking about living. I wanted to see my kids and my husband.” She said she had survived disasters before, including the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Centre, where she worked then. “I must have nine lives,” she said. “I was vacationing in Honolulu and had to be evacuated for a tsunami. I was skiing in Denver and had an avalanche. I was at the big LA earthquake.
Posted 3 years ago
Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left — just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow, saying, ‘You greedy motherfucker, I’ve got nothing for you.’
John Mayer, 09-21-2006 (via apsies) (via allthiscanbeyours) (via ktroseknows) (via 8tania) (via babydeer) (via sharpless) (via magnetical)
Posted 3 years ago
The Antikythera mechanism is an ancient mechanical calculator (also described as the first known “mechanical computer”) designed to calculate astronomical positions. It was discovered in the Antikythera wreck off the Greek island of Antikythera, between Kythera and Crete, in 1901. Subsequent investigation, particularly in 2006, dated it to about 150–100 BC; and hypothesized that it was on board a ship that sank en route from the Greek island of Rhodes to Rome. Technological artifacts of similar complexity did not reappear until a thousand years later.
Posted 3 years ago
Posted 3 years ago
